Tuesday, April 26, 2011

not quite the news i wanted to share

Yesterday morning I went for my beta blood test.  At around 3 o'clock I got the call, My RE tells me "I'm sorry it came back negative".  I was so sure this IVF cycle was going to work for us.  It just hurts so much.  I think it would be easier to handle the bad news if I wasn't so positive though the who thing.  I know that everything happens for a reason and I'm not being punished... But I really wonder why me? Is it because I want it so very bad? is it because I was so open about the whole process?  I just don't know and don't understand.  But maybe I'm not supposed to understand.

I feel like I lost a pet, I know there are so many worse things in life.  I'm thankful for my health and my friends and family.  And despite the sadness I feel right now I know in time it will get better and I know one day some how I will be a mother.
Thank you all for following my blog I will be back to blog again soon, but for now I must take a break.

Rachel 

5 comments:

  1. Rachel, my heart aches for you and I am so terribly sorry that this IVF was not a success. Take all the time you need, but we will all be here if you need someone to listen!! <3

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  2. I am so sorry, people that never go through infertility just dont understand the hardache that comes along with every rollercoaster up and down we go through. This is just another hurdle to get through, you have to take time, mourn and then when you are ready, do another one. Its different for everyone. It took us a year.

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  3. Oh no, I am so sorry to read this Rachel. :( Take a break, but remember that we are all here for you. Hang in there. ((HUGS))

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