miss you gram!!

Today is a special day, Today would have been my grandmas 93rd Birthday (she past one month prior).  So a few of us decided to meet for breakfast (we went to bob evens) this morning in honor of my late gram.  We all ate well, we sang happy birthday, and shared a piece of her fave banana nut bread (yum).  I think my gram would approve.

Moving forward to this evening... I was sitting around not doing to much.  So I decided to make a delicious ham and potato's for dinner with Yummy pumpkin slices for dessert.  everything turned out great but not I'm ready for some relaxation and some good TV.

Rachel

AF arived with battle gear

Not only did AF arrive this morning and mentally put me down for the count (for this month) but she's fighting to make sure to ruin my day.  I had planned to go to the gym, but I'm (tmi) bleeding to heavy with too much pain, and oh how AF messes with my stomach... darm my stage 4 endo (imagine me shaking my fists).
I think I'm going to look into the endo diet.  I've never tried it so if anyone has any tips or has tried this diet I would love to hear about it.  I've heard its a pretty restricted diet, but at this point my cycles are so bad i think i would try anything.  As long as I can still have my occasional cup of coffee, but i guess i could settle for decaf if i had to.
  I have to work tonight so I hope that af eases up before then.  because when I'm at work I have to play the role of the boss and I just can't act sick or be in pain when I have to be in charge of a whole store.  I guess i will just have to hang out with my heating pad and bottle of pamprin and hope i feel better soon.


I hope everyone has a wonderful day xoxo
Rachel

here it is...

So I was really nervous but i did it, I cut my hair ALOT of my hair.  I have to say that I love it!
  And my husbands rediculas backhanded (not ment to be mean) comment was "oh wow I didn't want to say anything before your hair appt but I didn't think i was going to like it.  But I do it looks really good".  Guys they have a funny way of saying things, lol. 
What do you think?

 

 And on a side note, now that i've downloaded all my pictures from the last month i'll share some pics from last weekend when my bro, my hubs and I went to Chicago, on probably the last really nice day in the city (for this year).

We went on an agricultural boat tour and got some pretty cool pics.

just a few cool pics of buildings.

Me, my hubs, and my bro.

 After we where done walking around navy pier, and taking the boat tour my brother wanted to take me and my hubs to a nice dinner in the city.  So we went to Ruth Chris steak house, and OMG I had the best tasting fillet (and most expensive at $39 each) that I've ever had.  Yum Yum.

Till next time xoxo Rachel

I think I need a hair cut.

So for the last few months I've been loosing A LOT of hair.  I know it's normal to lose some hair, but the amount of hair I'm loosing it's actually becoming noticeable that my hair is becoming thinning.  I've loved having long hair for the last few years but i think it's now time to come to terms with my thinning hair and cut it short, but I'm really nervous its going to look terrible. 
Here is a picture of me with longer hair from recently.

Now the question is.... do I cut a few inches off, cut it chin length, or do I cut it REALLY short???

How about either of these hair cuts? what does every one think?  Any idea's or pictures are welcome, I'm just not sure what I want to so.  But i know I want to do something.  LOL and thinking about my hair is kinda helping me keep my mind off of POAS again.  I really want to wait till Monday to test again, which will be 14 dpo.

 Thank you to everyone for your info in advance = )

                               Rachel K.

the goings on.

I've been gone from blogging for too long.  Every time I think I'm going to post I just draw a blank.  It's like I have so much and nothing going on at the same time. Between the passing of my dear sweet grandma, my miscarriage and a few close friends also having miscarriages, and a friend from high school sadly taking his own life I've been on a up and down emotional roller coaster.  And on top of all that last week a local girl (I didn't personally know, but many people I do did) was murdered. And It really effected me.  I mean what kind of world do we live in where 3 miles away from me a young boy kills his beautiful 17 year old girlfriend?  What could she have possible done so wrong?  Nothing I'm sure!
In regards to my grandma, She was a vivacious, strong, beautiful, 92 (would have been 93 1 month after her passing) year old.  She live a wonderful life, and got to share it with 4 children, 9 grandchildren (3 girls 6 boys), and  9 Great grandchildren (3 girls, 6 boys).  We all miss her so much, but knowing she is happily a peace dancing the polka with her husband, my grandfather brings much peace to us all.  She knows she was loved and I believe she will forever show us how much she loves us by watching and protecting us.

It has been almost 2 months since my miscarriage and I have to say I took the whole situation as a blessing.  I'm not saying it wasn't hard on me.  It's just to say that after 4 years of trying I now know that my body can do it... it can actually make a baby (one it's own).  Which I have to say I was starting to loose hope.  But now that my hope is slightly restored that it will happen one day, I get really anxious and wish it would just happen again right now.  It's like it took me 4 years to finally relax about the whole ttc thing and now all of a sudden I feel like I'm back at the beginning, trying from day 1 again. 
Right now I'm 10 days past ovulation, and as of this morning I couldn't wait so I poas and it was a BFN = (  I was feeling really good about everything this month.  I have been on a great workout schedule, I even ran in my first 5k, I've been eating really healthy (less red meat more spinach and salad, and less coffee and pop more juice and water), I've been trying to be positive, despite the challenges in my life.  I guess I can't expect it to happen when I want to, I have to continue to live my life full of happiness joy and faith... and know that when the time is right its will happen.  Even if that means a month from now or a years from now. 
  xoxo
 Rachel