I've spent enough time being lazy. And a small scare.

Last year after my failed ivf I signed up for the gym. I started strong, going 3 to 5 times a week, I even think my going to the gym had something to do with my short summer pregnancy ( even though it didn't last long). Well I went all summer I even ran a few 5k's and worked out when I was on vacation. Well after late November I took a break... Bad idea. My break turned into me telling myself "oh it's the holidays, it's ok to take a break" well 1 month quickly turned into 4 months. I did the typical bargaining with myself as to why I didn't need to go. Even though I'm not over weight and for the most part not out of shape, I know deep down working out and eating healthy is good for my future self and maybe even my fertility.
So this week I gave myself an altimatum, go back to the gym this week or quit. And the idea of quoting kinda made me feel like I failed. So last Tuesday I did it, I went back. Ive only been there twice so far and I have to say my whole body achs like crazy, but it is an amazing feeling to know I'm back at it. Just being back a few times makes me know I need to keep doing it. I should never have stopped.
It's not going to be easy but my health will thank me later. I just have to remember how hard it is to come back after a break. And not let myself get lazy again.

And as for my scare... About 5 months ago (after my miscarage) I started getting a strange pain in my left Brest. The pain was only present after I ovulated and would go away when my period started. Each month the pain would get worse and by the 3rd month I felt a lump. I'm really good at telling myself there is nothing wrong with me, so I kept telling myself I as fine. Well last month the pain and the lump got much worse. And to push me over the edge my aunt on my moms side was just diagnosed with breast cancer. So it the words of my husband I got myself to the doctor befor it was to late. I got in to see my gyno right away. Then he sent me for a mammogram and an ultrasound. I am happy to say I am perfectly fine. The lump if a hard piece of tissue that is kinda like a cyst and it fluctuates with my cycle. But it's nothing to worry about. Thank goodness. I'm so relieved that my lump is nothing. I now think its never to soon to get a mammogram. I encourage every lady to do self checks and go for mammograms if you have any family history of breast cancer.

Experation date

So I was thinking about how a year ago I was getting ready to go though my ivf. And as many of you know us infertals collect ALOT of fertility meds. Some of us use them all up but others end up with this stash of leftover meds we don't know what to do with... So I was wondering what the expectation dates were on some of my more expensive meds I had. So I looked in My fridge where I keep my extra folistim, and the date was August 2013 ( which also happens to be the month and year I turn 30). So my hubby and I decide if it hasn't happened naturally befor then we will, no matter what, do ivf again at the end of spring/ beggining of summer 2013.
It seems like such a long ways away but in reality ive been waiting 4 1/2 years so waiting a little over a year to do it again really isn't that long.

And I know that there is still hope it will happen sooner, and the time we have between now and then is time I must need to prepare myself and my body for life with children.